I had a friend ask me a few questions and as I was emailing her and reading it to my husband he said why don't you post that on your blog? you could help someone else out too, so hopefully whoever is reading this it might help you and answer a few questions that you might have.
I was actually reading today this lady's blog about marriage, she also was married at the age 19 the same as when I got married. I want to share a few things with you that she said in her blog which is exactly how I felt and feel.
I was married at the young age of 19. Yup, I know... besides possibly setting a new record... I am also "crazy." But, don't worry, you don't need to tell me that, I already know. In fact, I've heard it all:
"Didn't you just get out of high school?"
"It was just yesterday that you were in diapers!! You're just a baby!"
"Don't you think you should date more before making such a big decision?"
"Are you sure about this? It's a lot of responsibility."
"Oh wow, engaged? Wait... Really? But you're only 19."
"Are you even old enough to sign marriage certificate?"
"Are you pregnant or something?!"
"How do you know he's what you want? You haven't even tested the waters!"
"You're too young to know what real love is."
And perhaps the most common statement of all:
"Don't you think you'll regret not living up your single years?"
Followed by:
I wish I waited a bit longer to get married and just let myself have fun. You can't take back these years, you're giving them up to get married, you can wait you know."
To all those people who doubted my decision and told me I was "giving it up".
You were absolutely right.
I gave up my heart. The moment I said "I Do" my love was no longer my own. I gave another imperfect human being the ability to take me higher than I've ever been... But also the power too crush me to a million little pieces.
I gave up my privacy. I went home on June 8th in someone else's car, to sleep in someone else's bed, and breath someone else's air. It would never, from that moment on, be just "me" anymore. It was now me and him, him and me. It was now our family, our home, our
I gave up my name. The name I was known for my whole life, didn't define me anymore. I would be known by his name now. I was his: to cherish, love, hold, laugh with, cry with, provide for, and protect.
I gave up my secrets: my weaknesses, my thoughts, my mistakes, the things I hid from the world, someone now would know. But, someone would also know exactly how to help me, love me, and comfort me. Someone would know me so well that they would know what I needed without me ever asking. I would lose all the hidden parts of me, and gain a perfect understanding and love from someone else.
I gave up my agenda. I would have to cancel plans, rearrange my schedule, work longer hours, go to the grocery store when the car was available, and cook dinner instead of taking a nap. And as the clock was ticking I would come to understand the reason I was given time in the first place.
I would give up dating different people. I no longer was available for anyone to take out. I was done meeting "new people" and "potential spouses" because I had found mine. Yes, I could have dated more, yes, there's lots of great people out there that I didn't meet, but no, there's no one else as perfect for me as my Ash. And yes, I can know that even though I dated less years than most people and yes I did know that when I picked him, which was WHY I picked him.
I gave up awkward dinner conversations and replaced them with evenings laying in my hubby's arms, with a round belly and no make up... sporting his sweats and an oversized T-shirt I won at some jazz game, eating microwave popcorn and watching netflix and feeling more beautiful than a celebrity on the red carpet.
I gave up my money, my time, my need to be right, my stubbornness, my life, my whole self.
And yes I did give up YEARS of my life that I can NEVER get back or change.
BUT the difference between me and you is I don't regret one day, minute or second of those years.
If anything... I wish I had began this incredible journey called marriage sooner, because nothing I have ever done, or could ever do, has filled me with as much love, happiness and peace as this. Yes it can be harder than I ever imagined it would be and I am challenged every day to be a better more selfless person that I am, but my life has taken on more meaning than I knew it could and I have become more complete than I thought was possible.
So I really really loved this and I just had to share the whole thing because everything that she said was so true and its exactly how I felt and how I feel about my husband and about getting married. People probably thought that I was crazy or that I was jumping into something way to fast, 1 because I was young only 19 but you know what? my mother and my sister in law and many family members before me also got married at age 19. I honestly don't think that age matters when it comes to marriage, obviously at age 16 that would be a little crazy but age 19 or age 35 its when you are ready and its when you are in love and its when you know that you are supposed to be with that person for the rest of your life and I knew that, I knew that from the time that I went out to California to visit Brennen the way that I felt when I was with him, the way that I felt when I looked at him, held his hand in the car and kissed him I knew that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life and to every other person out there who thought that I was crazy because I had just gotten out of an almost 4 year relationship with someone else they didn't know how i felt. If i could have ripped my heart out and shown everyone in this world the love that I felt for Brennen maybe then they would have understood but obviously I couldn't do that.
Being married young is hard Im not going to lie but I wouldn't change it for anything in this whole wide world because like I said married at 19 or 35 people are going to have trials in life, well because that's just how life is, its not going to be perfect and at times you are going to struggle with money but you know what I don't care about all of that I care about my husband and I care about being happy and we are happy I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. I would say its hard to know if its time to get married, or if you love someone or if you should wait and see other people but its not because when you know.. YOU WILL KNOW!
So as a young married girl my advice to you is.. do you know? are you really in love or is it just at this time in your life others are getting married and Pinterest has amazing wedding ideas or are you just caught up in a relationship and want to hurry and get married and live happily ever after? Defiantly don't rush into anything talk about your love with each other and talk about getting married, do you feel ehh about it? or are you ready right now to drop everything and be with him for the rest of your life? Ultimately its up to the both of you if you are ready, and no one elses opinion matters because when you get married that's exactly how it is going to be, its going to be between you and your husband not your mom or your sibling or your best friend, its up to the both of you.
On to the other questions you had, when we talked about kids before we got married we never really got into deep conversations about home school or public schooling or shots or anything like that, because when the time comes that we need to decide and figure those things out, we will talk about them and the way that we feel is best for our children is what we are going to do for them. One person might have a different opinion about something but that is going to be about everything in life like what color walls you want to have in your kitchen or what kind of car you want or what to name your new dog. When the time comes to think about all of those questions and decisions we will talk about it and as a couple decide what the best thing for our family is. Because that's what marriage is about its about as a couple trying to figure out what is best for the both of you and your family. I do not think that is a make it or brake it thing at all.
Can I just say one more time how much I love my husband and how much I love being married.
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