Marriage.. when do you know?

I had a friend ask me a few questions and as I was emailing her and reading it to my husband he said why don't you post that on your blog? you could help someone else out too, so hopefully whoever is reading this it might help you and answer a few questions that you might have. 

I was actually reading today this lady's blog about marriage, she also was married at the age 19 the same as when I got married. I want to share a few things with you that she said in her blog which is exactly how I felt and feel. 

I was married at the young age of 19. Yup, I know... besides possibly setting a new record... I am also "crazy." But, don't worry, you don't need to tell me that, I already know. In fact, I've heard it all:

"Didn't you just get out of high school?"

"It was just yesterday that you were in diapers!! You're just a baby!"

"Don't you think you should date more before making such a big decision?" 

"Are you sure about this? It's a lot of responsibility."

"Oh wow, engaged? Wait... Really? But you're only 19." 

"Are you even old enough to sign marriage certificate?"

"Are you pregnant or something?!"

"How do you know he's what you want? You haven't even tested the waters!" 

"You're too young to know what real love is."

And perhaps the most common statement of all: 

"Don't you think you'll regret not living up your single years?"

Followed by: 

I wish I waited a bit longer to get married and just let myself have fun. You can't take back these years, you're giving them up to get married, you can wait you know." 

To all those people who doubted my decision and told me I was "giving it up".

You were absolutely right.

I gave up my heart. The moment I said "I Do" my love was no longer my own. I gave another imperfect human being the ability to take me higher than I've ever been... But also the power too crush me to a million little pieces. 

I gave up my privacy. I went home on June 8th in someone else's car, to sleep in someone else's bed, and breath someone else's air. It would never, from that moment on, be just "me" anymore. It was now me and him, him and me. It was now our family, our home, our decisions. It's funny though, because the moment "I" became a "we" I realized what it really meant to be happy. 

I gave up my name. The name I was known for my whole life, didn't define me anymore. I would be known by his name now. I was his: to cherish, love, hold, laugh with, cry with,  provide for, and protect. 

I gave up my secrets: my weaknesses, my thoughts, my mistakes, the things I hid from the world, someone now would know. But, someone would also know exactly how to help me, love me, and comfort me. Someone would know me so well that they would know what I needed without me ever asking. I would lose all the hidden parts of me, and gain a perfect understanding and love from someone else.

I gave up my agenda. I would have to cancel plans, rearrange my schedule, work longer hours, go to the grocery store when the car was available, and cook dinner instead of taking a nap. And as the clock was ticking I would come to understand the reason I was given time in the first place.

I would give up dating different people. I no longer was available for anyone to take out. I was done meeting "new people" and "potential spouses" because I had found mine. Yes, I could have dated more, yes, there's lots of great people out there that I didn't meet, but no, there's no one else as perfect for me as my Ash. And yes, I can know that even though I dated less years than most people and yes I did know that when I picked him, which was WHY I picked him. 

I gave up awkward dinner conversations and replaced them with evenings laying in my hubby's arms, with a round belly and no make up... sporting his sweats and an oversized T-shirt I won at some jazz game, eating microwave popcorn and watching netflix and feeling more beautiful than a celebrity on the red carpet. 

I gave up my money, my time, my need to be right, my stubbornness, my life, my whole self. 

And yes I did give up YEARS of my life that I can NEVER get back or change. 

BUT the difference between me and you is I don't regret one day, minute or second of those years. 

If anything... I wish I had began this incredible journey called marriage sooner, because nothing I have ever done, or could ever do, has filled me with as much love, happiness and peace as this. Yes it can be harder than I ever imagined it would be and I am challenged every day to be a better more selfless person that I am, but my life has taken on more meaning than I knew it could and I have become more complete than I thought was possible. 

So I really really loved this and I just had to share the whole thing because everything that she said was so true and its exactly how I felt and how I feel about my husband and about getting married. People probably thought that I was crazy or that I was jumping into something way to fast, 1 because I was young only 19 but you know what? my mother and my sister in law and many family members before me also got married at age 19. I honestly don't think that age matters when it comes to marriage, obviously at age 16 that would be a little crazy but age 19 or age 35 its when you are ready and its when you are in love and its when you know that you are supposed to be with that person for the rest of your life and I knew that, I knew that from the time that I went out to California to visit Brennen the way that I felt when I was with him, the way that I felt when I looked at him, held his hand in the car and kissed him I knew that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life and to every other person out there who thought that I was crazy because I had just gotten out of an almost 4 year relationship with someone else they didn't know how i felt. If i could have ripped my heart out and shown everyone in this world the love that I felt for Brennen maybe then they would have understood but obviously I couldn't do that.

Being married young is hard Im not going to lie but I wouldn't change it for anything in this whole wide world because like I said married at 19 or 35 people are going to have trials in life, well because that's just how life is, its not going to be perfect and at times you are going to struggle with money but you know what I don't care about all of that I care about my husband and I care about being happy and we are happy I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. I would say its hard to know if its time to get married, or if you love someone or if you should wait and see other people but its not because when you know.. YOU WILL KNOW! 

So as a young married girl my advice to you is.. do you know? are you really in love or is it just at this time in your life others are getting married and Pinterest has amazing wedding ideas or are you just caught up in a relationship and want to hurry and get married and live happily ever after? Defiantly don't rush into anything talk about your love with each other and talk about getting married, do you feel ehh about it? or are you ready right now to drop everything and be with him for the rest of your life? Ultimately its up to the both of you if you are ready, and no one elses opinion matters because when you get married that's exactly how it is going to be, its going to be between you and your husband not your mom or your sibling or your best friend, its up to the both of you.

On to the other questions you had, when we talked about kids before we got married we never really got into deep conversations about home school or public schooling or shots or anything like that, because when the time comes that we need to decide and figure those things out, we will talk about them and the way that we feel is best for our children is what we are going to do for them. One person might have a different opinion about something but that is going to be about everything in life like what color walls you want to have in your kitchen or what kind of car you want or what to name your new dog. When the time comes to think about all of those questions and decisions we will talk about it and as a couple decide what the best thing for our family is. Because that's what marriage is about its about as a couple trying to figure out what is best for the both of you and your family. I do not think that is a make it or brake it thing at all. 

Can I just say one more time how much I love my husband and how much I love being married. 

busy busy busy

We have been so busy and have had so much fun doing different things the past few months I haven't had the time to tell you all about it! Where do I start?! I guess ill start off by showing a few pics of when we went to Lazy Five Ranch!!

It was so much fun feeding all the animals! I want to go back soon!! So that was short and sweet on to the next trip! We were able to fly out to Arkansas to visit Brennens cousin Nace for his High School Graduation all of his family was able to be there it was so much fun being able to be around them!

I

I always get the window seat :) 

1st pic of the trip!

Naces graduation took forever there were about 870 students that graduated! 

We were able to go fishing!! That was so much fun! I caught my first fish! 

After a week of fun it was time to come back home we were sad to leave everyone and all of the fun we were having but memories were made and we knew that we would see them again soon! 

After only 3 days of being home from Arkansas, we had another trip planned to go stay at the cabin in the mountains for Memorial weekend! No cell service just nature! We were able to go to a waterfall close by and walk up to Mount Mitchell. Its always nice to get away from the world. 

I will always remember coming to the cabin ever since i was a little girl and being able to come to the creek and walk across the swinging bridge. 

Hiking to the waterfall was so much fun, its so beautiful up there! 

Naomi and Sadie enjoyed the mountains too! We always hate coming home from trips, we had a great memorial weekend and cant wait to go back to the cabin soon! 

short n' sweet.

Just a few pictures from our awesome beach trip we took a few weeks ago! The weather was perfect!

keep on keepin' on

Since I've started my new job I haven't been able to get on here much lately but I thought I would just give everyone an update on the Burgoyne's! Speaking about my new job I absolutely love it! I've met some great friends and the owners are awesome! Its so great to finally be doing what I love and be getting paid for it! We are just busy day to day with work and school trying to manage bills and a healthy lifestyle which may I add is very hard to do. We are looking forward to May when we get to travel to Arkansas to go see Brennen's family for his cousins graduation. I cant even believe that we have already been married for half of a year our 6 month just passed soon its going to be a year which is so crazy! I also cant believe that next week on Valentines Day Brennen will have been here for a year I don't know if this Valentines Day will even compare to last years! I will remember last Valentines Day forever when he surprised me and moved down here! Its so crazy how fast time has gone! So many amazing things happened last year I sure hope that this year has just as many! We got engaged, got married I graduated school got my license and a job and Brennen is working his tail off with school and work he is such an amazing husband and Im so glad to have him in my life! I cant wait until we start a family of our own and have a little baby Burgoyne one of these days! We love getting our baby practice in with our little niece Naomi we love her to death! A week ago we were able to see Naomi get blessed at church!

I often think about the future when will we have a baby? when will we have the money to have a baby? when will we move? when will we have the money to move? when will we have the time to do this? when will we have the time and money to do that? Its so hard not to get stressed out day to day when the time is right everything falls into place. Just being busy and exhausted with life, sometimes you just have to sit back and take it day by day, life goes on and its so hard to realize that when you get caught up in everything that life throws at you. I've defiantly had to learn that just by growing up and becoming an adult. "life goes on" is something that you hear alot and its so true that life really does go on no matter how bad your day might have sucked, someone else out there had it way worse then you probably did. I know im not perfect and I can get stressed out way easily but knowing that life goes on and everything happens for a reason and im going to be okay really helps me out. The other night I was just so annoyed and I didn't really have a reason I was just irritated and it was because I was thinking about the past and the future and something that my wonderful husband told me was to forget about the past because its over and don't worry about the future because its not here yet think about today and whats happening right now not whats going to happen next week think about that when the time comes and that really helped me. So whenever you feel stressed about life which im sure is on a daily basis just remember to think about right then right now and remember life goes on it gets hard sometimes and things happen that you never would even think about happening to you but you wouldn't be here if heavenly father didn't think that you couldn't get through it! 

A little bit of love

Now I don't know a lot, I know a little bit about everything that I want to know about. Growing up school was always hard for me because its not something that I liked. I am a very hands on person when it comes to learning. Some people are just blessed to be book smart and some others struggle in that area. I was blessed to have a mother who knew how I was when it came to school. I went to Elementary school I was home schooled in 6th grade went back to school for 7, 8 and 9th grade. The stress of homework and growing up and the way I learned was giving me a few heart problems when I was in 9th grade, I decided to be home schooled my sophomore year of high school to see how that worked. It was hard to get up and learn in your pj's well not hard but actually doing it was a struggle but my mother made it fun for me, she helped me and we took the time we needed to to learn what I needed to. We did other things that helped me learn not just the subjects of school but other things that would help me in the future when I would become a mother and a wife. We did arts and crafts, sewing, cooking and budgeting. I loved being able to learn the things that I wanted to learn and knew that I was good at. I ended up being home schooled for the rest of my high school years.

 I was still able to do other things with other teenagers I wasn't a home body like people think home schoolers are. I was able to go to football and basketball games I was able to go to proms and church activities, I also was able to have my first job working for McAlisters Deli which helped me earn some money as a teenager. I was blessed to have a Popaw who bought me my first car at age 16 which got me around to all the places I needed to go. As a teenager its hard growing up you have to start thinking about what you want to do for the rest of your life as a career, you have to start thinking about getting married, if you wanna serve a mission what your goal is. Its a stressful thing being a teenager, you go through good friends and bad friends that either help you along the way or knock you down which helps you realize who you really are and what you are really worth. I am so thankful that I had / have the family that I do I don't think I would have been able to make it through those years without there love and support many late night talks and cries never knowing what was going to happen losing people in your life who maybe you thought were supposed to be in it. I always knew that I had my family to go to for anything which is such a wonderful thing because lots of people don't have that relationship with there parents or family at all.

Growing up I had it easy on the career part because being a hair stylist was something that I always wanted to do as a little girl I will always remember doing all of my friends hair and make up. I followed my dream and became exactly what I always wanted to be and im so glad that I did that. You have to do what you love or you are not going to be happy. Sometimes you have to bust your butt and in the end its always worth it. I cant wait to be able to be a stay at home mom and also do what I love on the side. Its always been a dream of mine to have an area in my future home where I can still do others hair and also be home with my kids.

Lately I have just been so overwhelmed with love for my sweet husband. Now we are only 5 months married and I don't know a lot about marriage but like I said in the beginning I don't know a lot, but I know a lot about what I want to know about and that is love. Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. 

I wish that I could show you all my heart and all of the love that I have for my husband and my best friend I cannot wait to start a wonderful family together and be able to learn and grow and always enjoy each others company for the rest of our life. I cant wait to grow old together and still share the same love that we have for each other now. Never let that go, never let anything get in your way of you and your loved one they should always come first on your list. The world is such a hard place to live in you have happiness and sadness and heartbreak you have fear and nervousness and all of these emotions in you that can cause stress and anxiety. Always know that you have your wonderful Heavenly Father to lean on when you need him the most he is always there to listen to you. I have such a strong testimony of the wonderful gospel of Jesus Christ I know that if you ask he will answer never be afraid, never feel like you do not have anyone because you do. 

The New Year

I cant believe its already a new year,I also cant believe that we have been married for 5 months! So many amazing things happened last year to be thankful for. In January I went to California and fell in love with who is now my husband. In February Brennen surprised me on Valentines Day and moved to North Carolina. In March we got engaged, April was engagement pictures and planning for the wedding that we had in August along with Brennen's 23 Birthday! October I graduated from Cosmetology School, November was my Birthday and I became Aunt Sarah (aka) Auntie Deb to a beautiful baby girl Naomi. December of course was Christmas and it was such a great time to see all of our family members! So if 2014 is as good as 2013 it will be a pretty amazing year.

We brought the New Year in by staying at home enjoying each others company and playing games! 

And of course we had our first New Year kiss!

This basically is the last week of freedom until all of our lives have to start again sadly. Brennen starts a very busy semester of school and working. I have my practical cosmetology exam coming up in Raleigh and I start my new job a week after that. Its gonna be a busy start of the new year but we are ready to get everything in order to keep on keepin' on! For some reason lately I have been on a kick about moving to California. I knew that the day would come sometime but I never really thought about it, for some reason lately it has been on my mind alot. With Brennen just starting another semester here in North Carolina yes I know it would be hard to transfer all the credits and so on and so on. But Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways, so hey you never know. No plans on moving anytime soon but that doesn't mean I cant dream about it! Ive lived in North Carolina all of my life and I am ready for a change! The warm weather is calling my name! 

As of now

We have now been married for 3 months and we have had the time of our lives! Oh and I went brunette! Our Friday night date nights are our favorite! I just finished cosmetology school at Aveda and plan to take my state boards and get a job! Brennen is working for our family business Charlotte Chem Dry while going to school for construction management! We just bought a new car and we are just enjoying our time together! We have a puppy Lacey who is like our child and we are so excited to take our Christmas pictures to send out Christmas cards this year!

At my graduation!

Our new car! 

Before our date tonight! 

Our baby Lacey! 

My birthday was November 23 and my wonderful husband decided to surprise me (like he loves to do) and take me on a trip to the beach! What a wonderful birthday gift that was! It was such a fun weekend getting to relax and enjoy each others company. We got to do alot of shopping and enjoy the cold but great weather!

                                         When we finally got to the beach!
 We went to the Tanger Outlets later that night and we ate at Buffalo Wild Wings. We got back to the hotel and got to relax. At 12 o'clock Brennen looks at me and yells "Happy Birthday!" He told me he thought he dropped something beside of the bed could I pick it up for him as I reached down I felt a little bag. Another surprise of course. He gave me 2 gifts cards one to Sephora and one to Urban Outfitters, he sure knows how to make me happy!  The next day we were able to go to Broadway at the beach! We went to the Ripley's aquarium what fun we had being able to look at all the fishes!

That night we decided to go to the pier, it was so relaxing being able to be out there in the quiet to enjoy your self and the beautiful creations of Heavenly Father. Hearing the waves and looking at the stars! We were able to do lots of other fun things together while we were at the beach but most of all I think that we just enjoyed being with each other!

Sunday morning we had breakfast at the hotel, it was so neat we got to look out to see the ocean! After packing up it was time to head home!

I love riding in the car with my hubby, we always have the best conversations together and we are always laughing and singing together! I don't know what I would do without him in my life! Our weekend at the beach was so much fun and I had an amazing birthday!

Ashley is my wonderful sister in law, my brothers wife. She has been pregnant this year and she was due December 9, She was going along so well the Dr. said that it could be anytime that little Naomi Mae could get here. I told her to wait off until we got home from the beach and she did. Wednesday morning November 27 at 6 in the morning we got a phone call from my brother saying that they were at the hospital and Ashley was 4cm dilated! It was time for her to get here. We got ready and headed over to the hospital. Waiting at the hospital which felt like forever with lots of visitors, around 3:38 in the afternoon she was born 7lbs 10 ounces 21 in. long! There were so many people out in the waiting room waiting to see Naomi oh how she is loved :)

Naomi Mae Shaw she is such a doll!   Nothing like spending thanksgiving in a hospital! But we are all so very thankful for this little angel. Uncle Brennen and Aunt Sarah got to hold little Naomi today!

We are so excited for Spencer and Ashley to be parents to Naomi they will be wonderful to her! We are so blessed to have an amazing family! Happy Thanksgiving!


Can't believe Christmas has already came and passed! Lots happened in the month of December, lots of relaxing and enjoying time with the family! I took my written State Board test and passed!! Thank goodness, now its time to study to take my practical which will be in January! I got a job at Cora Bella's Salon and Spa and I cant wait to start that January 22! Brennen is still working and he starts back up another semester of school in January, so we will be a busy couple at the beginning of the year that's for sure! But we are sure excited to get our life together!

Christmas time with the family was so great, we got to go visit my moms side of the family Christmas Eve which is always a blast!

Christmas Day was great being able to stay at home and open presents with the family! I had been bugging Brennen for a while to get me a Longboard but I didn't think that's what I was going to get for Christmas.. and guess what I got!?

A Longboard of my very own! I love it and I have been practicing and must I say that I am getting pretty good! 

December 27th was little Naomi's 1 month birthday!